The Read

Three sizes of the same read.

Send me what’s on your shelf, skincare or makeup. I read every line of the label, tell you what it’s doing, and give you a verdict: keep it, toss it, or swap it. Plain English. No brand deals. Receipts on every read.

Pick a size
Worth it?1 product48-hour turnaround$25Start hereShelfUp to 10 products5 to 7 days$150OverhaulFull regimen from scratch7 to 10 days$300
1 product

Worth it?

$25

You're eyeing something or you already own it, and you want the truth. A full decode and a verdict.

  • Translation every line of the label, in plain English
  • Analysis what each ingredient is doing there, and the flags for your skin
  • Verdict keep it, toss it, or swap it, with alternatives at your budget
  • 48-hour turnaround
See Worth it? →
Up to 10 products

Shelf

$150

A full decode, a keep, toss, or swap on each product, your flags, and better swaps matched to your skin and budget.

  • Translation each label on the shelf, up to ten
  • Analysis what each product is doing, the overlaps, and the gaps across them
  • Verdict on every product, and a summary of what to keep, toss, and the best swaps
  • 5 to 7 days
See Shelf →
Full regimen from scratch

Overhaul

$300

For when nothing on the shelf is working and patching it is not the answer. A Start-Over with a routine built for your skin and your budget.

  • Translation everything on the shelf
  • Analysis what the routine is doing, and what it is missing
  • Verdict a routine rebuilt from scratch, with a written walkthrough
  • Follow-up with adjustments if needed
  • 7 to 10 days
See Overhaul →

Form first, then payment. Everything in writing. No calls.

Who it is for

You bought it. You saw it on TikTok. Your dermatologist swears by it. You’re wondering if it’s actually worth the money. Or nothing on the shelf is working and you’re done guessing. This is for you if you’ve ever turned a bottle over, read the fine print, and thought, “what am I even looking at.”

Who’s reading your label

Skincare and makeup, both. I’ve been a professional makeup artist since 1991, a licensed aesthetician since 2005, and I’ve formulated skincare for fifteen years. I used to write the front of the bottle. Now I read you the back. I can’t diagnose your skin or promise a result. I can tell you exactly what’s in the bottle, and I’ll say when a product is mine.

Jen’s card →
Questions
Do you take brand deals?
No. I earn a small affiliate commission when you buy something I recommend, disclosed every time, and I recommend the same products whether or not a link earns me anything.
What if my products are not clean?
Then I will tell you plainly, and show you what is worth swapping and what is fine to keep. No shame, no scare tactics.
What happens after I send?
Form first, then payment. Everything comes back in writing, to your email. No calls.
Who is reading my labels?
Jen Murphy. Makeup artist since 1991, aesthetician since 2005, fifteen years formulating. I wrote the front of the bottle for years. Now I read you the back.

Bring me the bottle.

See Shelf →